Kitchen Meets Culinary Clutz

Good Evening Friends,

I don't have a recipe to post this evening but if you'd like a recipe for marshmallow lullabies & sugary-sweet dreams then try a shooter of Chocolate truffle liquor (Godiva Liqueur Chocolate or maybe a nice Vermeer Cream Dutch Chocolate will do), topped with a swizzle of Whipped Lightening and chase it with an hour's worth of Celtic Thunder.

While settling down for the evening I decided to surf the app store for new apps. When what to my wandering eyes should appear but an app called Blogger, and 4 letters that spelled the word, "FREE"!

P.s. I've gone Mobile! *Snoopy Dance*

 

Click the above image, I dare you, and check out me wishlist!

My bunny got into the Kool-Aid! He's a little hyper..

Photo Op time! Say "Carrots"!

Holly's bunny looks like it has Tootsie Rolls growing out of it!

Fuzzy Friends.

Kooky lit'l fella!

Be Verwy, Verwy Quiet.... I'm hunting Wabbits!

Auditions for the Cadbury bunny is intense!

As if making Pine Cone bunnies wasn't enough to occupy our day, we couldn't leave without baking cookies!

Our drawing expertise goes beyond the coloring pages!

We express our art in edible form too!

Nothing like a hard day's work...

"A Day in the Life of a Jr. High School Para-Professional"!

My nightmare began when I found out that my normal hairstylist moved on to a different salon in a galaxy far far away...

I hate when I find a dream hairstylist, who knows their stuff, then one day I need a haircut and *Bam* they're gone with the wind! I also hate when I'm impatient and make the huge mistake in letting the flighty new chick do my hair. That alone is a recipe for disaster!!

The woman kept chopping and chopping and chopping until my hair looked like it was run through a meat grinder! To hide the imperfections I had to part my hair to the left so nobody could notice that my hair was butched all crooked-like!

 That was the first nightmare. . .

So I found an angel by the name of Carlos who fixed my hair. He treated my hair as though it were a masterpiece in the making. The end result was simply that, a Masterpiece! It took 2-hours to do my hair, but when has perfection ever been rushed?

When I got home I decided to be an "El Cheap-o" and touch up the roots of my hair by myself. I wimped out about 20 minutes into the process when my scalp began to tingle. I rushed the toner, washed my hair and cursed at the mirror when I discovered that I looked like a circus clown!

Why do I always seem to put myself in a tight spot? So it's 9:30p.m. and I'm a train wreck. If I could get away with wearing a beanie to work I would have done so to spare myself the embarrassment of my vice-principal enjoying a good laugh when I humored her with the story of my unfortunate dilemma.

Thankfully my girlfriends came to my rescue and helped me find a salon that was willing to pencil my sorry ass into their busy schedule!

Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea... The name is like music to my ears! She took one good look at my hair and said, "I can have this fixed in less than an hour, hon!" She didn't let me peek in the mirror until she was completely done. Chelsea straightened the last strands of hair and when she was done she swiveled my seat around to face the mirror. I kept my eyes shut tight, as I was deathly afraid to look at my new hair. Chelsea assured me that it was safe to look and when I finally opened my eyes I couldn't help myself.. I leaped out of my chair and gave Chelsea a super huge bear hug!! She was my lifesaver! She fixed my ucky-blucky hair!!

I suppose one of these days I'll grow up and become somewhat normal, and not get myself into so much trouble.  I regret to admit that when that day finally comes, you'll see flying monkeys, cotton candy clouds and money growing on trees! So...don't hold your breath too soon. :)

It broke apart as I was removing it from the hot iron.

1 1/2 min. wasn't long enough for the bottom pieces. The top piece just crumbled!

It began to peel back.

Close-up view of it peeling up. This comes from not enough moisture.

Slowly giving up with each scoop of batter that turns into rubbish.

The Cone Shaper Thingy only made things worse.

While attempting to roll the hot dough it cracked and crumbled.

...And another one bites the dust!

Icky - Dry - Yuck!

Wow... I was speechless and had to stop. I threw out the rest of the batter.

Crispy Chicken Strips

It's chicken night on the South Shore and sometimes I like to shake things up a bit instead of sticking with the same 'ol roasted and barbecue recipes. I've never been a fan of frying meat. Doing so has always landed me in a rather unfriendly predicament, Me vs. Grease Fire.

Let me share with you one of those stories before getting to my recipe. . .

It all began one brisk fall afternoon in Central Oregon. I was about 15 years old. The butcher had come around to our ranch just days earlier to slaughter our two pigs. Their names were Cinnamon and um... well now, I've forgotten the name of the second pig. I'll just call him Red.


They were cute pigs when they were alive and looked just like the two pigs pictured above. So the butcher dun them in days earlier and since Mama spoiled them so much with Cob & Molasses they yielded the most tender hams, chops and bacon I've ever tasted in my life!

Mama and Daddy had been gone to town the day of my unfortunate encounter with the grease fire. My lit'l sissy and I were bored and had pulled out the picture boxes from Mama's room and sat down with pictures scattered across her bed as we flipped from one picture to the next, laughing and reminiscing about the good 'ol days when we lived in San Francisco.

Time was passing swiftly and it was nearing supper time. Sissy and I were feeling famished and our parents had not come home yet. While digging through the refrigerator we found a package of bacon wrapped tight in butcher paper. I immediately made up my mind that I was hungry and I wanted to fry us up some bacon.

So sissy ran to the dish room where Mama kept all the pots and pans hung on the wall. She grabbed me a small frying pan since we only wanted 2 strips of bacon each so as not to spoil our dinner. I turned on the skillet, threw 4 pieces of bacon in the pan and walked away to Mama's room to continue looking through the picture boxes. Heck, who pays attention to bacon anyways? I figured it just fries up on its own with no help, and besides we were busy.

About 15 minutes pass by and we begin to hear loud crackling sounds coming from the kitchen. As we entered the kitchen the grease in the pan decided to *POOF* into flames! I froze into a state of shock and  my sister pushed me into the dish room to grab something to put out the fire. As I stared at all the metal pot lids, trying to remember why I should grab one, Sissy shoved a large stock pot filled with water into my chest and yells, "here, put out the fire!" At this point I snap back into reality, forget all senses, and run back into the kitchen to splash the water onto the fire. . . "Whoops!" The small frying pan filled with flames grew into a kitchen ceiling engulfed in billowing flames after the grease splattered up the wall and onto the ceiling. What had I done? Why did I not just grab a pot lid to smother the flames? How could I be so careless?

All these thoughts flooded into my head as I stared up at the flames eating away at the paint on the ceiling. Thankfully my parents came home just in time to put out the fire and save the kitchen. I remember crying in my father's arms that day as he held me tight against his chest.

We were never disciplined for setting the house ablaze, but I assure you that my sis and I sure did learn our lesson.

With my track record of starting kitchen fires I've steered clear of messing with fried foods.  Nowadays if I'm going to fry anything, it's with my DeLonghi Deep Fryer, or if using the stove-top, I make sure I've got a pan lid nearby so I can smother any grease fires.
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With the help of some friends who've given me tips on frying chicken I've come up with this recipe for Crispy Chicken Strips. (One of these days I'll gain enough courage to fry me up some drumsticks and thighs. Until then, I'll stick with boneless chicken breast strips.

Enjoy!

Our society is becoming more health conscious these days. With the increase of health conscious people comes the influx of preprocessed, ready to serve "health" food that is marked up so high that it's difficult for even the middle-class working man to afford.

Why buy all that expensive junk when you can stick to a healthy diet by making homemade meals from scratch, still be aware of the Nutrition Value of your recipes and save money in the process!

By knowing what the Nutrition Value of your homemade meals are, you will not only be able to keep track of your calorie intake, but you will also be able to experiment with healthy alternatives to making your old family recipes nutritious for you and your family!

To calculate the Nutrition Value of my family's recipe collection I use the Cook'n Deluxe Ultimate Recipe Organizer software! I not only can save old family recipes into the program, but it calculates the nutrition values for me, and adjusts my recipes whether I'm cooking for 4 or for 400!

This software was worth the price I paid for it several years ago. Being a military family on the move, it's nice to have all our favorite recipes together in one place so I can just pack my laptop into my carry-on bag and take it with me from Japan to Washington D.C. or where ever the U.S.A.F. sends us!



But let's talk sense here, sometimes all we want is something that is convenient and at our fingertips to do exactly what we want it to do at just a click of a button, and on a moments notice. I searched all over the net this evening, looking for a sensible website that offers a free Recipe Calculator where there are no strings attached.



I thought I wouldn't find anything until I remembered that Spark People always seem to have what I'm looking for when it comes to Diet and Nutrition! Sure enough, in the Spark Recipes section of their site was a free Recipe Calculator! You DO NOT need to sign up to use the calculator unless you wish to save and share the nutrition values of the recipes you punched into the calculator. The calculator is extremely easy to use and it gives all nutrition values for any recipe you key into the calculator!

Image: Recipe Calculator on SparkRecipes.com

I highly recommend even becoming a member. Membership to Spark People and Spark Recipes is FREE with no strings attached and I guarantee you will love the site!!

I raise my glass to healthy habits! I love you all!! xoxo

Cheers!!

....*Sigh* I never did get around to trying my hand at baking the Dainty Cinderellas today. I had to trade in my oven mitts for a stethoscope this weekend.  After spending the past 4-days nursing my baby back to health I did nothing more than drag around lethargically feeling so tired I couldn't even make myself rest if I wanted to. (I'll try and bake those cookies tomorrow.)

It looks as though we are over the danger zone with this flu virus and my little one's fever has held steady not going over 101°F. today. She still has her icky cough but that's to be expected. I just hope it doesn't keep her up all night.

I was pleased that my kids let me retreat to my bedroom for a quick 2-hr nap this afternoon. The nap did me some good. It gave me enough energy to whip up dinner tonight! I think it will be safe to sleep in my room tonight.  For the past 3 nights I had camped out in the family room with BbGirl at my side to have her temperature monitored.

Call me a nut but I keep a Fever Log when my kids are ill just in case we have to make an Urgent Care or ER visit. It helps to give the doctors an idea of what's been going on, and how I've been treating their symptoms before seeking medical attention.  I started doing this when my oldest daughter was an infant and dealt with a series of unexplainable seizures accompanied by fevers that lasted for up to 10-days where tests could prove no trace of viruses.

I hope my daughter and I can get a full night's rest tonight. We'd like to be wide-eyed and energized for school on monday.

Below is an image of the Fever Log I use. If you CLICK HERE you can be redirected to the Printer Friendly Version. Make sure that your printer settings are set to "Landscape" before printing the document. After printing, if you'd like your log to be in Note Pad form (Like mine is, pictured above)  print out 5-10 copies and cut each page down the center. Affix one staple at the top to turn into a super-cool notepad like mine!

I love collecting cookbooks. I especially love finding vintage cookbooks that are worn and tattered!

While at the Red Rooster Antique Mall last summer, the store owner helped me dig out all his cookbooks. I only purchased the ones that looked like they were loved (i.e. stained, used/abused and left with remnants of flour dust in the the creases of each delicate page.) I took home a good handful of cookbooks that day. I will only share a few of my new books so as not to bore you.

Some of these cookbooks and cook-booklets amaze me. I found one called "Sweets" which was published in 1920 that has a small handful of candy recipes as well as advertisement for it's Vegetable Compound product for women by the Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Company. If you're interested in knowing what the heck Vegetable Compound is, CLICK HERE to be directed to Mr. John Brand's Buckaroo Leather blog. There is a complete article there that I found to be quite interesting indeed!

This lady actually "brewed" her own home remedies for ...*a-hem* "Women Complaints". I'm interested in finding out if these recipes are legitimate, and I am pleased to say that I have an entire weekend in the kitchen to try my hand at one or two of these recipes! I will use my brood of kids as my guinea pigs. They don't mind taking the responsibility of being the home chef's guinea pigs! (At least, I don't think they mind... can't say I've ever asked.)


This cookbook, "The Joy of Cooking" by Irma S. Rombauer, has definitely been through the wringer. The pages are dusted with old flour, stained with liquid ingredients and the spine looks as though it was dropped into a pot of mashed potatoes. It has definitely been loved and cherished for over 68 years!